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PaaartyLast night I went to my friend Janet's 50th birthday and what a splash it was!

Janet is the baby in my girlfriend group so she is just now turning 50 and loving it.  In fact, most of the guests there had already turned 50 so it was a nice, mature atmosphere.

We rode around in a limo for an hour, just vibing, toasting, laughing and having a super wonderful girlfriends time.  The limo then took us to a lovely nearby park for pictures which we took in sex-in-the-city style!  Woo wee!!

Who says you can't party like you used to once you turn 50?  Well, whoever did is wrong...so very wrong!  The dance floor was filled all night and was never empty at any point.  No matter the genre of music that was played, we were dancing like crazy to everyone of them.

The ambiance, food, cake and drinks, the mingling that went on, the guests there, the music ...everything was really wonderful.

Parties for 50-plusers are super enjoyable so if you ever get the chance to attend one, don't ever pass it up!

Coconutree_2I have caught island fever! Just returned from a trip to my homeland (Jamaica) and am already planning the next one!

How I stayed away so long, I don’t understand.  My visits have been far and few over the years and I’m now wondering how come.

Jamaica is such a beautiful island.  The fresh air.  The beach.  The food.  The people.  The … everything!  I had such a wonderful 7 days and was almost upset when it was time to go.  The trip was my best experience yet, as I visited places I have never been to before.  Yes – even though it’s the place of my birth, there are places I have never been.  That’s about to change for sure.

I’m even seeing where my eating habits would be exactly the way I want it to be, as there’s a huge variety of fruits and veges there.  Freshly grown produce by local farmers are in abundance.  For meat eaters, grass-feed cows are everywhere.  Freshly caught fish from the fishermen that swim right in as you relax right there on the beach is one of the most heavenly experiences.  The fish gets cooked while you wait with music playing in the background right along with a lovely breeze that is always blowing.

You can’t put a price on this wonderful experience; you simply cannot.  I want to have this experience more often so I will be visiting more often.   DoctorsCaveArt

 

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I'm mellowing with age.  Yes - I know that and I'm not by any means afraid to admit it.  And, that is not just with the way I look.  It's my thoughts, feelings, actions, decisions, desires, deeds ... almost every aspect that I can think of.  I woke up to this reality (that I'm mellowing with age) a couple years ago and here's why I say this:
BeresLuciano4

 

I'm finding as I get older that certain things that used to big a big deal, really don't matter anymore.  I now feel as if I wasted so much time, energy, feelings, thoughts, etc. into these certain things.  One of them is - what people thought about me.  Oh my goodness!  Was I the biggest I-have-to-please-everybody kind of girl.  I never ever wanted anyone to be mad at me therefore I hardly ever said the word "no" to anyone.  I always felt that I had to make everyone happy.  Being this way robbed me of many things (on which I couldn't elaborate in this blog)...but I got older and of course, wiser.

Another aspect is the way I dressed.  I dress so much better now and as a result, look younger than I did even up to eight years ago.  I look back at some of my pictures from back then and wondered why didn't someone say something to me?  Even the way I styled my hair.  I just can't figure that one out!  Now I'm the queen of accessories (according to my children) and may I mention - and of nice purses!  I'm even into wearing belts now.  A marked improvement!

Yet another aspect -- my whole outlook on life.  I'm much more confident with who I am, much more sociable and more optimistic than I was as a younger girl.  If I knew and felt then what I know and feel now, there's no telling how much further in life I would be today.

My moods are another aspect.  I'm much more jovial, I take things and people less seriously, I smile more, I choose my battles more, I have a higher level of tolerance and...I could go on and on.

And so I embrace getting older.  Yes - I love my fifties!  No wonder I went back to school in my fifties.  My whole outlook on everything is now so different.  My fifties are indeed my best decade ever!

Change is inevitable in almost all aspects of, but particularly in, our personal lives. You therefore must learn how to adapt to change and thrive, rather than just...survive. Really! Most of the times these changes that come about, did so quite unexpectedly. What then must you do? Keel over? Oh absolutely not!

Usually by the time you get to being in your 50s, you would probably have already gone through a ton of changes. Changes from all angles - that is. Changes at work having to deal with bosses and their various personalities. Coworkers - the same. Changing jobs due to downsizing, firing, frustration, relocation or probably health reasons. Changes at home -- with our spouses or significant other (separation, divorce, incompatibility, etc.). Changes in the process of raising our children -- illness, grades in school, behavioral issues - you name it. This list of changes that could come your way could be endless.

But you must - you must - be resilient. For the sake of your sanity. For the sake of your health. For the sake of setting an example for younger ones around you so they can see that indeed, these matters can be overcome. That, to me, is of great importance. My children and grandchildren MUST see how resilient I can be in any given situation! And I have been doing just that throughout my entire life. My three adult children can attest to this (even though I get teased quite a bit about some of it)! It's okay! Because at the end of it all, they saw that I was a tough cookie and that life indeed did go on!

Why not do the same for yourself? Grab those matters of life that are sure to come your way by the horn and overcome them all...one by one! Show everyone how resilient you indeed are!

As I continue in my role of caregiver, mother, grandmother, sibling, auntie, student, friend, member of the greatest Caribbean folk singing group (more roles to be added as I go along), I'm finding that ... wow - I do have the time to do the things I want and love to do. Over the years, my eldest brother Max (love him forever) always had this ready response of "I don't have the time, man!" to say to anyone when asked how come he didn't do such and such. I would laugh and say to him "you mean you won't make the time!" I used to believe him! I used to believe that no one can possibly do more than a certain amount of things in a given day. What a myth!! Personally, I wish I had more waking hours in a day (I try to maximize mine but end of paying for it when sleep comes knocking). There is soooooo much you can do if you properly organize your time!

I've created a schedule for myself. Each year for the last five years, I purchase a calendar - the book form - which shows the whole month and enough space for each day to make my entries. I cannot survive without my calendar! I use the calendar in Outlook quite a bit as well and the reminders in it helps me tremendously. My calendar has an entry for everything so when I make my schedule it includes classes, homework time, study time, sewing lessons (yes, doing this again as I loved it as a young girl and plan to start doing alterations and garment construction again), work out, personal grooming (hair, brow, nails, etc.), time with the PYT's (my grand-daughters), singing practice, medical/dental appts., visiting and bonding with my adult children, calling or hanging with my siblings and girlfriends, etc. Yes - I schedule each and every one of these activities! It really, really works when done this way! I'm now seeing where pockets of time in the day were previously being wasted and I now look forward to checking my calendar every day because I know what's coming up ahead. Why didn't someone tell me this before?

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