Uncertainty. Do You Embrace the Wisdom It Can Bring?

Chatanooga TNUncertainty can sometimes be a good thing, giving room to open up a whole new world.  This picture of me is an excellent example of how an unplanned trip to Chattanooga, TN turned out to be one of my best one-day trips ever.  A truly exciting trip it was!

This past year went by with quite a bit of uncertainty with many things, the results of which proved to be quite rewarding.  In prior years, my life was just one big having-my-ducks-all-in-a-row circle for pretty much everything I did.

Quote from Dr. Chopra About Uncertainty

Deepak Chopra, MD, founder of the Chopra Center for Well Being once said: “I embrace the wisdom of uncertainty, because if everything is certain, where is the creativity?’

After reading that quote in the May 2015 issue of Oprah Magazine, it opened up a whole new world for me. Such truth! Creativity is a wonderful thing. It means ingenuity. Inventiveness. Resourcefulness. Vision. Innovation. Originality. Inspiration!!

Living your life in a way that everything you do or want to do must be certain, planned or scheduled can be crippling. A really cool friend helped me realize this, as throughout my younger life, that was my normal way of living.

As I age and have now become this 50-plus woman who is a bit more wiser, I leave room for creativity by working very hard to let go of being certain, scheduling or planning every single move I make.  It’s actually working well and it feels great! It has opened up my world!  So many new things have now come to mind. Things I can now do, places I can now go, people I can now see, things I can make, instruments I can and have always wanted to learn to play, activities I can participate in — my cup runneth over!  Lol…

Have I been my own drill sergeant?  It looks that way, doesn’t it?  It’s just that I’ve always loved having almost every aspect of my life carefully planned and scheduled.  So much that I was often teased about it by my close friend.  My profession in the legal field over the years is partially to be blamed. Lol!!  Mind you, there will still be things that do need to be planned, organized and/or scheduled.  I’m actually talking about no longer doing so in every single aspect of my life.  Enough already!

It is now time for creativity!  Yes – the time has come.  Now that I’m approaching my 60s, this is a time when I want to be doing new things and in particular, things I’ve always wanted to use my creativeness and resourcefulness to accomplish.

Dr. Chopra was right and his quote was timely. I most certainly embrace the wisdom of uncertainty.

What are your thoughts on his quote?  Have you been doing that in your life?  Share your thoughts with me.

Are You Your Worst Critic?

Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Have you ever paid attention to the things you say to yourself sometimes?

 –You may look at a picture of yourself and it may not be one of your favorites and you say something negative about it.

–You may have made a mistake with something and you quickly call yourself an idiot or something similar to that.

 –You missed out on something you should have followed upon and a ton of negative words about how dumb you are comes flying out.

–I’m too fat.

–I’m too dark-skinned.

–I don’t like my hair.

…and these are just a few of the instances of how we become our own worst critic.

Now​, if someone were to treat us in a similar manner, I bet it wouldn’t be well received.  Am I correct?  You KNOW I am!  Then why do it​?

Let’s begin to get seriously positive in the way we treat ourselves by doing the following:

–Don’t criticize photo​s of yourself. Just observe the person in the photo. No judgments.​

–Don’t ever call yourself stupid after you’ve messed up on something.

–Don’t complain about any part of your body–be it your face, stomach, legs, arms, hair…no part on your body!

–Don’t blame yourself for someone else’s actions, even ​if ​it’s your own child.

–​Refuse to go into a depressive state because you lost your job.  Know that when one door closes, another one opens (just listen to Bob Marley). This is an opportunity to let yourself feel hurt and angry, and then to move on to explore your brand new life options!

–Don’t blame yourself because someone treated you wrong; instead, ​consider that it may be their loss.

–Don’t blame yourself if a loved one walked out on you.  It means they were not meant for you.  Instead, ​grieve, but don’t let it consume you. Make it your priority to remember that you can move on and say…NEXT!!

–Don’t dress to suit anyone but yourself.  Be comfortable in your own skin.  Experiment with new colors this fall! Post the pictures on your social media accounts and celebrate yourself!​

As you begin to be positive and comfortable with your own self and not depend on the thoughts and opinion of others, you find that you exude more confidence and that it will even show that you’re doing just that.

In my younger years, I was guilty of being my worst critic because I cared so much about what people thought.  Now as a middle-aged woman, I’m a work in progress and I’m definitely not as hard on myself as I used to be.

Go ahead and work on yourself if you need to.  You know the saying…better late than never.




Being Nervous and Fearful Does Hold You Back

ValerieHeadshotHave you ever had a day when everything went…right?  When everything you did and said just turned out right for you?

Today was such a day for me.  Nothing planned, just flowed with the tide of each thing that I did and by golly, I got the exact results I wanted.

I’m finding that as I get older, if anything I do is done without fear, tension, nervousness, apprehension, concern, the thought of what others will think…all that negative “stuff”, I get great results.  I’ve gotten bolder and couldn’t care less about what others think.

One example is being interviewed for any reason.  I HATE interviews!  I would get nervous, fearful, tongue-tied, forget the questions I planned to ask, and sweaty palms.  Well, I had an interview for a project today and it was one of the easiest ones I’ve ever done.  I did a quick review of the company online before going in and had in mind the questions I was going to ask.  I didn’t even bother writing them down like I normally would.  I walked in, sat down, chit-chatted with the interviewers as if I knew them before, they volunteered information and I simply asked questions along the line of the information given…really vibed well with the ladies.  At the end of it, I thanked them both, shook their hands and left.  I felt great!

I got out of the building and was still on my way home when I received a call from their office, saying how much they loved me!  That I made them comfortable and that they didn’t feel like I was a person they were meeting for the very first time.  I thought “wow, it’s so much easier being yourself and not try to change into this fearful, nervous soul in everything I do.”  It worked for me!

Wish I had adhered to this way of thinking earlier in my life.  Anyway, better late than never.  Right?

Making Decisions As We Age

Have you ever made a decision and acted upon that decision the minute it came to you? Right there on the spot! Snap—boom—done!! 

I did that recently. I was in the middle of working on a project I’ve been immersed in for several weeks, and all of a sudden I  just didn’t feel good in that space anymore. I immediately stopped what I was doing, put everything down and made the very swift decision to be over and done with it right there on the spot (while brushing both palms up and down).

All of a sudden, that task no longer served me. It just didn’t make sense to me anymore…physically, emotionally nor financially. So, why waste anymore of my precious time that I have now learned to value so much? The answer to that was very easy.

You see, this was not my story as a younger woman. Back then, I spent way too long thinking, lingering and pondering and therefore wasted precious time, on situations, and relationships that didn’t serve me, and either never acted upon them or took way to long to make a move. As a result, I stayed in relationships that didn’t make sense, in jobs that I shouldn’t have, and overall did things and made moves that I really shouldn’t have made, many of which turned out to be some regretful situations.

As I got older, the decision-making process became easier because I remember how they made me feel. Fear, anger, many years lost. It was time for that to be over. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made in my life…the decision to improve on my decision-making process. Makes sense?

Folks as we age, we must be in spaces that serves us, in relationships that makes us happy, doing things that improves and continues to improve us, that will benefit us, that will enhance us, that will feed us, that will nourish us, that will be FOR US! The 50plus era is a great time to start (if you haven’t yet started) so that the remainder of your years will be the best ones ever.

My message to you is this: Say no to something or someone if you have to. Remove yourself from spaces and relationships that no longer serve you.

After all, your life—the rest of your life—could depend on your decision-making process.

Spring time!!!

Love is a flower that blooms..in the Springtime (in the Spring-time…)  An oldie-but-goodie song from back in the 70s.  Springflowers2014

Spring is almost everyone’s favorite season (with Fall running a strong second place).    Just like the fresh new  blossoms and flowers that burst out at this time, its is a time for me to get out of the house and spend as much of my time as I possibly can outdoors.  That’s what I do every Spring.  I think I could easily win first prize for being the happiest person in this whole wide world to see Spring...I’m sure about that one!

You see during the Winter season, almost all of my time is spent indoors (I hibernate!).  The thing is that being the tropical bird I am, I’m not– and will not ever be– a person who can stand the coldness that Winter brings.   Therefore things like my workout routine suffers quite a bit as I’m a full-fledged outdoor junkie.  Mind you, I do workout indoors but the fact that I can’t be outdoors walking, skipping, running, gardening or doing any of my other outdoor routines, is almost crippling to me as a middle-aged woman who adores being outside.

I’m one of the first ones checking to see when it’s Groundhog Day so I can see what this little fellow has to tell me about my favorite season!  Lol…  This year, he didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear so the suffering continued a bit longer.  Even now –the fourth week in April–the mornings are still too cold for me to go outdoors to do anything at all ; and not to mention the pollen!!!   The darn pollen count has been through the roof and I’m finding that as I get older, it’s starting to affect me.  Not being one to take any kind of medication unless it becomes absolutely necessary, I find that staying indoors when the count is high is the best way for me to battle the high pollen count.

Thankfully, there are days when we are blessed with some rainfall (and it has been quite a few so far this season).  These welcoming showers wash away the pollen after which I happily throw myself outside as soon as the rain stops.  Nice, clean, crisp, refreshing air to walk, run, jump, skip, hoola-hoop and just simply…to breathe in!

So now it seems that Spring is now ready for this 50-pluser and she is ready for it as well.  Spring baby!!!  I welcome you!!

Island Fever

Coconutree_2I have caught island fever! Just returned from a trip to my homeland (Jamaica) and am already planning the next one!

How I stayed away so long, I don’t understand.  My visits have been far and few over the years and I’m now wondering how come.

Jamaica is such a beautiful island.  The fresh air.  The beach.  The food.  The people.  The … everything!  I had such a wonderful 7 days and was almost upset when it was time to go.  The trip was my best experience yet, as I visited places I have never been to before.  Yes – even though it’s the place of my birth, there are places I have never been.  That’s about to change for sure.

I’m even seeing where my eating habits would be exactly the way I want it to be, as there’s a huge variety of fruits and veges there.  Freshly grown produce by local farmers are in abundance.  For meat eaters, grass-feed cows are everywhere.  Freshly caught fish from the fishermen that swim right in as you relax right there on the beach is one of the most heavenly experiences.  The fish gets cooked while you wait with music playing in the background right along with a lovely breeze that is always blowing.

You can’t put a price on this wonderful experience; you simply cannot.  I want to have this experience more often so I will be visiting more often.   DoctorsCaveArt