New Year, New Hair


After fighting with my hair year in and year out, I’ve decided to make the plunge and go right back to wearing my hair in its natural form.  I’m finding that as I age, I’m urged to embrace a simple motto: Anything that causes me too much angst or stress, has to go!

The managing of my hair is one of those items on the has-to-go list.  I’m blessed with very thick and strong hair, just like my mother’s (my daughter and first granddaughter are the happy recipients of it too).  I’ve always felt like my hair required more than the normal care because of its thickness, but I’m learning that there is no “normal” care; there’s just me, my hair, and my choice to care for it, just as I cared for my children and grandchildren—and they are as “abnormal” as they come (in fantastic ways!)

When I was as a young girl, I was the envy of many of my peers.  I wore my hair natural with a variety of styles that looked really great on me.  Somehow though, as I got older, manageability became an issue, and a serious one too.  I had to turn to hairdressers for help but then it became very difficult to find a hairdresser who could satisfactorily do my hair.  When I finally found one, some life circumstance of theirs would pop up and they would either move or go out of business.  I would then try to do my hair myself in-between stylists, but that never worked out too well.  I kept it chemically straightened so it would be easier for me to handle but even with a perm, it would never look as great as when it was done by a stylist.

I’ve cut it really short, I’ve grown it out completely, I’ve worn braids, weaves, wigs … you name it, I’ve done it.  I’m now at a point where it has become too expensive to have it done chemically but most importantly, I’m at the point where I no longer desire to have chemicals on my scalp anymore.

As a middle-aged woman, I’ve started loving and appreciating myself a whole lot more than I used to.  I’m much more active (I work out regularly and joined a performance group), I eat better (less meat, more vegetables and fruits), I sleep more (I go to bed earlier), I’ve eliminated several stressful situations, (that includes working a nine-to-five job which I’ve done for over three decades), so the urge to appreciate and love my natural hair was the next best thing to do.

Are you going through that transition stage?  If you are, or have gone through it in the past, tips and resources are welcome here!



(One of my many chops back in the day)

Mellowing with age…

I’m mellowing with age.  Yes – I know that and I’m not by any means afraid to admit it.  And, that is not just with the way I look.  It’s my thoughts, feelings, actions, decisions, desires, deeds … almost every aspect that I can think of.  I woke up to this reality (that I’m mellowing with age) a couple years ago and here’s why I say this:


I’m finding as I get older that certain things that used to big a big deal, really don’t matter anymore.  I now feel as if I wasted so much time, energy, feelings, thoughts, etc. into these certain things.  One of them is – what people thought about me.  Oh my goodness!  Was I the biggest I-have-to-please-everybody kind of girl.  I never ever wanted anyone to be mad at me therefore I hardly ever said the word “no” to anyone.  I always felt that I had to make everyone happy.  Being this way robbed me of many things (on which I couldn’t elaborate in this blog)…but I got older and of course, wiser.

Another aspect is the way I dressed.  I dress so much better now and as a result, look younger than I did even up to eight years ago.  I look back at some of my pictures from back then and wondered why didn’t someone say something to me?  Even the way I styled my hair.  I just can’t figure that one out!  Now I’m the queen of accessories (according to my children) and may I mention – and of nice purses!  I’m even into wearing belts now.  A marked improvement!

Yet another aspect — my whole outlook on life.  I’m much more confident with who I am, much more sociable and more optimistic than I was as a younger girl.  If I knew and felt then what I know and feel now, there’s no telling how much further in life I would be today.

My moods are another aspect.  I’m much more jovial, I take things and people less seriously, I smile more, I choose my battles more, I have a higher level of tolerance and…I could go on and on.

And so I embrace getting older.  Yes – I love my fifties!  No wonder I went back to school in my fifties.  My whole outlook on everything is now so different.  My fifties are indeed my best decade ever!